


Still Weak For Him

by lordsugden



Category: Emmerdale
Genre: F/M, Robecca, daddy!Robert
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-24
Updated: 2017-01-26
Packaged: 2018-09-19 13:45:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,023
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9443822
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lordsugden/pseuds/lordsugden
Summary: What if Robert and Rebecca's past resulted in something more?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Rebecca's personality is a lot more reserved, she isn't going to be obsessed with Robert - in fact i've tried to get her to be nearer to the opposite.

An unfamiliar young woman walked unexpectedly into the pub, her hair shimmering blonde, clothes screaming vintage and vibrancy, her smile as big as ever. Her entrance came quite the surprise as the entire pub just stood still in a gaze, stopping all conversation just to take in her beautiful appearance.

“Rebecca! W-What, are you doing here?” exclaimed Lawrence as he jumped out of his chair to greet his daughter who he had not seen in over four years.

“Hey Pops, long time no see eh? I thought I’d surprise you.” she grinned. The woman was very well spoken, the tone of her accent oozing upper class– _of course_ she had to be a member of the White family. “I went to the house first but Lachlan said that you were all here so… here I am”

“And I’m so glad, it’s good to see you! Chrissie’s just gone to the bathroom, she’ll be along in a minute. What would you like to drink?”

“The thing is Dad, I can’t stay, I only came here to find you and Chrissie so that I could take you both back to Home Farm… there’s something I need to tell you, but I can’t do it here” Lawrence gave her a worrying look, what was so important that she couldn’t tell them in public? “Dad trust me, I think you’ll appreciate it more if I tell you somewhere more private. Don’t look so worried… It’s all okay, I just...”

At that instant before she could finish her sentence, her attention was suddenly driven elsewhere as her gaze caught the sight of a familiar man walking confidently into the pub from behind the bar, oblivious to her presence. As much as she didn’t want to, she couldn’t help but admire him, he looked so different. The shorter styled hair, his newly profound looking body with his tightly fitting shirt cusped around his muscular arms being enough to draw any attention – it was clear he’d been working out. It felt so weird seeing him again, seeing that smile and instantly feeling as though these 4 years of absence from each other had never happened. Except, it did happen and _a lot_ had changed since they last saw one and other. She knew she had to snap out of this trance, not to let him get into her head like this. ‘ _Stop looking at him, stop looking at him, stop looking at him_ _…._ _’_ she kept telling herself over and over. Before he had a chance to register her being there, she quickly turned away back to facing her Dad, whom was still waiting for Chrissie. “Look, Dad, can we just go. I’ll wait outside, I-I need some air.” As Rebecca got up and walked away towards the door, she unexpectedly managed to catch a bit of the conversation going on between Robert and a couple of other people he seemed to know.

“Robert, tell your sister I’m a decent cook. I need you to back me up mate but she ain’t having none of it!” she heard someone say.

“Adam, making beans on toast unfortunately doesn’t classify as cooking these days… maybe try stretching your culinary skills a little bit more then you might just manage to persuade her, like I don’t know… to a sandwich?” he joked, mockingly.

Rebecca smiled to herself slightly after overhearing an all too familiar Robert Sugden standardised sarcastic comment. Why did he have to be such an annoyingly attractive cocky asshole that she knew she loved way too much? Her smile soon dropped as her reality came back to quickly hit her in the face. She knew she would have to face him sooner or later but given the circumstances of her return, the latter option seemed like the better alternative at this moment in time.

 

*

The drive up to Home Farm was a little tense, with Rebecca being extremely tight lipped about her news and with Chrissie and Lawrence both desperate to know what Rebecca wanted to tell them.

“Dad, Chrissie, there’s someone I’d like you two to meet.” said Rebecca softly, as she nervously smiled being quite apprehensive of their reactions. Opening the front door of the mansion and walking into the front room, they came to see a blonde haired toddler with bright green eyes roaming around on the carpet under Lachlan’s watchful eye, who was sitting on the couch. “This is Ria, my daughter. I didn’t want to bring her to the pub and cause a scene because I was worried of what you might say.” she said, picking up the little girl gently and placing her in her arms. Both Chrissie and Lawrence just stood, speechless, unsure of how to react to this massive unexpected news.

“You-You have a daughter…?” they said in unison, both shocked.

“I know this it’s a big deal and that I should’ve told you about her, but…well, I don’t expect you both to understand why I kept her a secret but please if you could just trust the decision I made, it would mean the world to me.”

“I-I can’t believe you’ve kept the fact that you’ve had a daughter quiet from us for so long! We’re your family Rebecca, why didn’t you tell us? She’s my granddaughter after all!” said Lawrence bewilderedly, seeking answers.

“Can I hold her?” asked Chrissie, breaking the awkwardness. Rebecca smiled as she nodded, passing Ria over to her sister, with the 3 year old starting to get very fidgety. “She’s gorgeous Rebecca”

“Indeed she is, but that still doesn’t change the fact you’ve been keeping something so massive from us for all this time!”

“I’m sorry, I just- I just couldn’t. I can’t really put into words why but it just felt right to keep you all in the dark. I know that’s not what you guys want to hear, but I needed to be alone with her.”

“That’s not even a reason Rebecca, let alone a comprehensive explanation. Has something happened - apart from the obvious - that we should know about?” queried Lawrence, sounding concerned.

“No nothing’s happened, honestly. It’s a decision I didn’t make lightly I can assure you but I had to. For myself if anything…”

“Dad’s right, something’s not adding up. All this, it seems very… odd, Bex. Were you even in Ibiza as well or was that all a lie too?” added Chrissie, not at all buying anything her sister was coming out with.

“I was in London. You really think I could raise my child in _Ibiza_ of all places?”

“So why tell us you’re working in Ibiza then?”

“I-I don’t have to answer myself to you Chrissie. What I do with my life is none of your business.”

“Except we’re your family Rebecca, so I’m sorry but we _do_ deserve a proper explanation whether you like it or not. Why all this secrecy, why all these lies? You can’t blame us for being suspicious. Are you _sure_ that everything’s okay? You’re not in any trouble or anything?” he challenged, now starting to lose his patience with all these unconvincing responses.

“For the _last_ time, everything’s fine. There’s nothing to explain! I just needed my own space to raise my daughter, is that really such a hard concept to grasp? Please, just trust me on this, what I did… it was for the best!” she sighed, struggling to hold back at their persistence to dig deeper.

“Nothing makes sense” concluded Chrissie. “Just stop lying Bex and tell us the truth.”

“I’ve had enough of this.” snapped Rebecca as she took the baby off Chrissie and stormed out of the room towards the front door. “And there was me thinking my own family would be here to support me and not to treat me like some criminal under interrogation. What a massive mistake it was coming back to you all..”

“Who’s the father?” her sister quizzed further, following her every footstep until she got a response. Rebecca froze whilst placing Ria in the pram parked in the hallway and clenched her jaw, knowing she had to be extra careful with what she was about to say next. She took a little breath and turned around to look Chrissie in the eye “You don’t know him. It was a one night stand. You done?” she bluntly answered with sarcasm, as confidently as she could. Chrissie looked at her Dad, signalling for him to say something.

“Come on Rebecca, you can’t be seriously leaving at this time of night when it’s absolutely pouring outside? You only just got here! Where are you going to go?!” he worriedly panicked.

“Why stay when I’m clearly not welcome, you’ll only keep on harassing me about it all... I’ll think of something, always do. Unlike Chrissie here who doesn’t even know the meaning of the words self-sufficiency and independence. Quite tragic really, I almost feel sorry for you.” she scoffed as she left Home Farm.

After strapping Ria into the car seat, Rebecca got into her Jaguar XF and just sat there still, eyes shut tight, resting her head against the headdress, thinking to herself of what she was about to do next. It was hard having to lie to her family like that, pretending that everything these past few years had been wonderful when in honesty it had been quite the opposite. She knew for a fact that she hadn’t come to Emmerdale to rekindle the old times with her family so leaving Home Farm wasn’t much of a blow to her as the White’s most likely thought. No. She’d come here for a completely different reason, one that no one knew about, a reason she’d been fighting for quite some time now. Rebecca turned around and smiled as she looked at Ria happily wiggling about, completely oblivious to the situation. She would give anything to be able to forget about everything that they’d been through together these last 3 years, all the tough times, spending what felt like the entirety of Ria’s life going in and out of hospital. Why her daughter? What did this innocent little baby do to deserve to be cursed with such an awful illness? Rebecca just couldn’t bring herself to tell anyone, not even her family because they’d only judge her for the reason behind having Ria in the first place. However there was one person that she _had_ to tell, whether she liked it or not. Time was ticking and Rebecca knew she had to do this, to face Robert again after all this time because it seemed to have become Ria’s only remaining hope. Even the doctors were struggling to to admit that she would be unlikely to find any other blood match if Rebecca or Ria’s father weren’t ones themselves as her blood type was just too rare. He _had_ to be the one to save her.

“Baby we gotta do this okay? Let’s go see your daddy...”  she said tentatively, taking a deep breath. The last time she spoke to Robert, she remembered having her heart crushed into a million pieces. They made so many promises together, so many plans for the future of how they were gonna run away and never look back. It was more than just lust between them, more than just any affair - they loved each other, understood each other – so much so that they just wanted to be together. He said he’d choose her. She remembered him reassuring her that he was going to end the engagement with Chrissie because he couldn’t stand to be with her anymore, that he was only with her cause of the money. It felt like he meant it and she trusted him… more than anything. But he let her down. A tear fell from her eye, which she was quick to wipe away with the sleeve of her cream jumper wrapped around her fingers. She remembered that clear moment of painful realisation of when he’d stood her up at the airport with nothing but a text: _I can_ _’t do it, sorry R x_ , that heart-breaking reality to find that the person that you loved so much had fallen back on all their promises because he’d came to realise that you weren’t worth the sacrifice. She planned to tell him about the baby that night but was never given the chance. But her chance had now come.

Rebecca’s hands trembled as she loosened their grip off the steering wheel after she’d parked up outside the back of the pub. Watching the rain droplets hit the window screen she contemplated deeply about what she was going to say. She was so nervous to speak to him again, scared to hear his voice and feel as though she’d instantly fall for him like she did before. Just by seeing him in the pub earlier and feeling so turned on by his presence gave her powerful indication of just how weak she still is for him… even after everything. He hurt her so much, she couldn’t allow herself to give in like that again, she needed to be strong.

Rebecca slowly got out of the car and headed straight towards the passenger door, quickly getting Ria out of the car seat so that she could get her under some shelter from the rain. The baby all snug in her blanket and little woollen hat, she held her close to her chest as she walked quickly over to the door and knocked hard. There was no answer, so she knocked again but twice as hard; desperate to get her sick baby girl out of the soaking rain. A few seconds later, the door opened..

 

.. there was a pause.

“R-Rebecca?”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm aware that parent-child blood transfusions are rare but for the sake of this, just assmue they're not

“Hello Robert.”

The man just stood there. He couldn’t quite believe who he was seeing here, standing on his doorstep after all this time; her blonde hair almost completely soaked with her make-up running along her face and water dripping off the tip of her nose. He noticed the little toddler cradled snugly in her arms, covered in a thick white blanket. He didn’t know what to say, he was speechless.

“Please could we come in? She’s getting cold.”

“O-Of course...” he answered, scratching his head.  “Come through to the living room, it’s warmer there.”

“Thank you” she said softly, giving him a small smile of appreciation as she walked slowly across the hall.

Thousands of questions were suddenly tunnelling through Robert’s mind as he watched his ex carry her child into the room: What was she doing here? Why now? Rebecca placed Ria down onto the sofa and slowly unwrapped her from the wet blanket, but in doing so triggered the toddler to start crying as she began to shiver. “I’ll get her another blanket” suggested Robert as he took the wet one off Rebecca and placed it on the banister to dry. She took her daughter in her arms and tried to calm her, softly shushing her as she paced around the room but with no effect as her cries failed to subside. In a few minutes, Robert returned with a blanket and was quite taken aback with how loud Ria was crying “Is she okay?” he asked, sounding concerned as he handed over the blanket. “I think she’s just tired, it’s been a long day…” she reassured him as she continued to rock her daughter in her arms, hugging her close to her chest, giving her warmth. “Sssh.. it’s okay darling” Soon as her screams started to recede, Rebecca gently placed her back on the sofa so she could drift off soundly.

“You’re probably wondering why I’m here” said Rebecca intuitively, turning to face Robert as they both walked into the hallway so that they wouldn’t disturb Ria. Rebecca couldn’t help but grip her fingers tightly, still feeling nervous as she looked at the floor.

“You could say that yeah... Do Lawrence and Chrissie know that you’re back?”

“Yeah, I’ve already spoken to them… let’s just say I won’t be returning back to Home Farm in a hurry.” she sighed in disbelief. “Me and Ria, we’re better off without them”

“To be fair, so is everyone…” quipped Robert, trying to be humorous. Rebecca didn’t laugh, instead just bit her lip nervously causing Robert to just stand there awkwardly. “So… I see you have a kid now? That’s huge. Never thought I’d see the day when Rebecca White decides to settle down and start a family. Not going to lie, it did seem an unlikely prospect back in the day with you being as wild as you were…But I guess that was all part of the attraction”

“She wasn’t planned” said Rebecca defensively in hast, not sure whether this was the best time to blurt out the truth or to wait a little longer until she felt more at ease. “…Look Robert, there’s something-”

“-hang on, if you’re not stopping at Home Farm, then where are you staying? Cause if that’s why you’re here…I’m sorry Bex but I really doubt I’d be able to put you up, cause this isn’t even my house and given that you’re my ex…” he interrupted, not realising that Rebecca was about to say something.

“Robert, that’s really not why I’m here” she acknowledged sternly. “I’m here because-“

“-are you in trouble then or something, like do you owe people or-”

“No Robert!” she exclaimed loudly, forgetting that Ria was sleeping only next door but luckily nothing coming of it. There was a momentary pause of silence between the two and at this point Robert could see that his ex was feeling quite agitated for some reason; as if she needed to get something off her chest.

“Rebecca, whatever it is… you know you can tell me right?” he reassured, placing a hand on her shoulder for comfort.

“Oh god, it’s all such a mess” she let out, sobbing, with her eyes beginning to water. “We wouldn’t be here if we weren’t desperate, Robert… but we are”

“Hey, hey… it’s okay” he soothed.

“No it’s not... it’s really not” she cried as she closed her eyes, taking a deep breath as rivers of tears began to seep down her face. “I-It’s Ria, she needs you, she needs your help”

“What? Why?” he looked confused. “ …Rebecca you’re not making any sense.”

Rebecca struggled to look at him, her eyes flooding with tears.

“B-Because she’s your daughter Robert…” her voice almost disappearing into a faint whisper, as her hands trembled by her side.

Robert froze. In his mind he was instantly questioning what he’d just heard, was it all in his head, in a dream… was it true? He looked at Rebecca who was standing there, as still as he was, inundated eyes fixed on his, waiting for a response, a reaction, anything. He opened his mouth to say something, but nothing came out. No words.

 

 

“Robert please… say something”

 

 

 

“My _w-what_?”

 

“She’s your baby… your little girl.”

 

 

“No, this is insane... I-I can’t be a father, I can’t” he said to himself in denial, completely astounded over the situation. Robert felt so heavy in the head, like he was about to collapse from shock and so headed for the stairs to sit down, holding his head in his hands.

“No, this isn’t possible we were always careful Bex” he said in disbelief. “You never mentioned at any time that you could have been pregnant, you’re lying, you must be! I can’t… I just don’t understand how this has happened.”

“It’s true Robert, why would I make it up? I-I was going to tell you… the night we were going to leave together” she admitted “I’d only found out I was pregnant a few days before but when you didn’t show up, I knew there was no way I could after that. It was obvious where your loyalties lied and I-I was scared that if I did tell you, you’d try to get me to have an abortion. I just couldn’t let that happen… so I kept it to myself.”

Robert turned to look at Rebecca, feeling quite offended over her bold presumption.

“You thought that I’d want you to _abort_ my own child!? Is that why you didn’t tell me!?”

“At the time I honestly did, yes… A baby would’ve just been _another_ inconvenience to you and your perfect lifestyle with Chrissie... like I was” said Rebecca with unexpected resentfulness in her tone as the pain from her past started to resurge. “I had no choice Robert.”

“If I’d known you were pregnant, god I would never have left you at that airport Bex, you have to believe me! You don’t know how close I was to leaving Chrissie, I had everything ready and packed, but in the end I-I just couldn’t...”

“I don’t care! You have _no idea_ how much you hurt me Robert. I loved you, I trusted you and you… you broke me.” Rebecca’s voice trembled.  “I never wanted to see you again, I wouldn’t have been able to bare it. Even seeing you right now, after all this time, it’s _so_ hard I just...”

Robert stood back up and stepped down onto the floor so that him and Rebecca were back on the same level. He looked at her genuinely, trying to catch her eyes in the moment. However she knew that even a second into his gaze would prove too much for her to handle and so wearily kept her down because despite everything she knew she was still weak for him.

“Whatever you may think, I did always think about you… all the time.” he sincerely confessed. “Sometimes I’d lie awake at night, wondering where you were, if you were okay… regretting the decision I’d made. I loved you as well Rebecca and I’m sorry over how I treated you. I handled it badly I admit that. If I could turn back the clock and do things differently I promise you I would. But despite it all, I still had a right to know about her, you must understand that…”

She sighed, starting to realise that he was actually right as much as she was fighting it on the inside. “Yeah I do… I-I shouldn’t have also been so stubborn and bitter putting my feelings first, it was wrong of me and I’m sorry. Ria… she deserves to get to know her dad, I shouldn’t have deprived her of that, especially…” Rebecca suddenly paused, looking away in an attempt to try to hide the pain which was so eager to show.

“Especially what?” When Rebecca didn’t say anything and instead started to tear up again, Robert began to get incredibly worried. “Rebecca tell me, what is it?” he demanded, desperately.

“It’s Ria she’s… she’s got this condition called Hereditary Spherocytosis. It’s a disorder which affects the normality of her blood... and,” Rebecca’s voice started to crumble as the sounds of her sniffling became more prominent. “The doctors have already said her condition is deteriorating at an abnormally quicker rate… she needs help fast Robert otherwise-” she couldn’t even finish the end of her sentence as it was just too much. Robert pulled her close and held her tight as she sobbed against his chest. “I can’t lose her, I just can’t.” she broke down, as her cries became muffled.

“She’ll be fine… I won’t let anything happen to her” reassured Robert as he put his arm around the mother of his child, suddenly gaining a new feeling of protectiveness towards his daughter.

“There is something which we can still do, or more what _you_ can do. That’s why I’m really here Robert, to ask for your help… There’s this test. ” said Rebecca as she lifted her head off Robert.

“What test? I’ll do anything.” he promised.

“A blood test. It’s to see if you are compatible with her to do a blood transfusion. Unfortunately I wasn’t a match and because her blood type is so unusual the doctors have said it is unlikely that a suitable donor would be found in time unless it came from a close relation. You could be the one to save her Robert…”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


End file.
